When I was growing up

Calling back, I was a girl born where sexes were treated unequally which continues to date. I was one of the weaker sexes, as my people portray. Feminine and masculine were two terms I learnt in school with one-sided definition each. I always wondered if it was ever in one’s own hand to bear the sex of choice. Woefully, I had to believe in the bitter reality, it was never in the tiny hands of mere humans. Day by day I lived in the segregationist environment which stressed my brain to shape as it demanded. Hence, I grew up as a Rebellion to this intriguing society. In the age of fantasizing things, I rebelled with the power of intuitions.

“Girls play with Dolls and Boys play with Cars” was being narrated to all. Kids were scolded when they showed affection for something different or out of the restricted norms of conservative society. If a boy liked to watch girly cartoons, he was doubted for his gender identity and at the same time parents took it as shame if their boy is even interested to play with dolls in his such little age of childhood. Similar was the scenario with girls.

With this state of living patterns, I got lucky to have Liberal Parents. I was the youngest daughter in my family and the most surpassing in my social behavior with respect to main focus on my gender. It was a hard time for people to mind their own business when I was seen playing with cars and gun toys when ethically (according to my social boundaries) I should have been playing with dolls and kitchen set toys etc. Clothing was a big issue as well; frocks and skirts for girls and jeans t shirts for boys was defined by the society since years before. I was a resistant to that, too. I wore whatever I wanted; frocks, jeans, skirts, shorts etc. I was always being stared at even as a kid which I did not understand in that age, now I do.

Bound of my Femininity now growing prominent on my body, my parents started to worry about my safety in this threatening society when grown up girls were not safe anymore. I was irritated by their concerns for me every now and then but later I realized that too with experiencing harassment and social threats in public areas. Soon I was not an appropriate image to be seen in streets or most outdoor places. I was fighting a war within when I had to battle with my moods, choices, wants and needs on daily basis just so could I meet the social standards of living. My sad eyes witnessed the distress of my parents for putting those meaningless restrictions on me. At times they were uneasy on being so worrisome over such little things which this society has made into vast social issues.

I used to observe that how we are bound of our self-caused social orders as one society. All these social barriers helped me improve my patience too. I grew up in serious societal conditions bound of backwardness which many people generally did not acknowledge as actual issues. Being one among the minority as woman I was a part of another one as a rebellion. Despite of all the social barriers, I learnt driving car just as I got eligible for it and I confidently made all the independent choices possible for me. My intention always used to be and still is women empowerment driven along with my strong support to equality.

My journey in such backward setting, with all possible educational luxuries provided by my parents, was an interesting one which back then seemed like a nightmare. I, as a woman, got my way to break all those stereotypes that meant to arrest my gender and hold back the potential growth in the race of life. 

“I don’t believe in being serious about anything. I think life is too serious to be taken seriously.” – Ray Bradbury


36 thoughts on “When I was growing up

  1. Hi Habiba,
    I met you at Danny’s Meet and Greet. I came to meet and greet you. I’m Janice. I offer blogging tips to bloggers. For example, I recently wrote how to get 842 page views to your blog in less than 1 day. May I leave a link? http://www.mostlyblogging.com/get-842-page-views-to-your-blog/
    You said at Danny’s party you would like help growing in the blogging community. That’s what I do at my site. If you could take just a moment to sign up, I’d be happy to help you get new readers. Like Danny, I have 11 blogging events each month where you could meet new readers and I have many blogging tips articles as well. Nice to meet you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Janice,
      Thank you for your acknowledgment and support. I will definitely tune into your link and will contact you then. I’m glad we met at this platform where I,being a new blogger, needs encouragement and support to grow.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Habiba,
        How kind you are. I would be happy to help with all your blogging needs. I always make time for my subscribers. Can you please comment on MostlyBlogging.com? I would be happy to sign you up once I can see your Email. Thanks! Looking forward to having your readership.


  2. Hello Habiba! I am so glad I met you on WordPress. I absolutely relate to this and I appreciate your strength and courage to fight these problems and spread awareness about the same. We must listen to each others’ problems and be a strong support. Great going!! I am waiting for more posts from you!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Bhavana,
      I appreciate your good words. Thanks a lot! As you said you can relate to it, I would like to read about your likewise experiences too. I m sure we both, being women who face such social barriers, can share many relatable things.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. A brave piece celebrating human agency in a restraining place. You have come a long way and busted stereotypes associated with vulnerable groups in an unequal society. More power to you Habiba!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own and I’m really glad that I have found you here on word press. Kudos to your resilient attitude.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Neal's Epiphany and commented:
    Gender discrimination! A practise that doesn’t wait to see the light of the day, or the dark of a quiet night. It is followed and played out in full patriarchal consensus – with pride, with force, with fear, with conditioning. Habiba’s thought provoking post enlightens the struggle a women goes through her daily life.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It has changed a lot around, but still more than a lot need to be changed in a lot of places. As your story in itself is one of the many examples on how the ‘she’ gender is still considered a weaker one. We need to stay together and stand stronger to rise above all such stereotypical ideologies.
    Girl-power! 🙂


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